Maxim
I solely take credit for this because it is my thinking, totally mine and nobody else was involved. I hit upon it some what spontaneously:
"If you are married you love a Woman, If you are'nt you love Women."
Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?
posted by Mohit Kaul @ 3:32 am
20 comments
20 Comments:
If you are asking for an opinion then, here is what I believe!!!
A thin red line demarcates your statement when it comes to understand the word "Love"?
Am not sure how clearly you understand this difference?
An answer to your statement can be "Affirmative" but one needs to understand that there is this line that nobody wants to cross?
Ideally, women who are embodiment of compassion and pacific can be loved by any man whether married / unmarried because such a creature is Universally appealing and acceptable.
” She- A woman” can be your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, or a close pal or for that
matter your ex –lover with whom you split just because things didn’t work out
One doesn't stop loving any of these women after getting married.
They are always a part of a man’s existence and there is always a tussle between “Rationality” and Reality when it comes to understand this difference.
So what you said may be partially correct.!
I am sorry for not being specific and lucid. I ought to have explained the background before putting it on the blog. You have taken things on a very different level all together.
This statement was made just out of frivolity and humour.The context being, my friends getting married and their loyality shifting from women, they used to oogle during college days, to a woman that is their would-be wife. It is just that as a bachelor, one has all the women to romance around and after one's entry into a matrimonial alliance one has to do with just one.
I fully agree with you about the women and their roles. I acknowledge each and every role that a woman plays. They make world a better place. In their absence, man and his carnal desires and sinister plans would have ripped this planet many times over.
The Thin Red Line you are talking about, no I don't really understand because I don't understand the very concept of Love. I really don't understand it. When I see within myself and around I find that 'Love' is the most misused word,'I love you' the most misused sentence and Love as an emotion is the most abused of all.
For me, love is being in harmony with oneself, others and the environment around. But alas, I find this lacking, what I see is bloodshed, hatred and suspicion. Sorry, I don't understand love at all.
Nobody has and no one can do it in one's lifetime!!
Your understanding says, it is to be in harmony with one's self and ppl and environment around.
Sorry! I disagree. It is no longer an Emotion.It has bcum an object of desire that should suit one's PURPOSE.In this day and age,it is one of the most Warped and Weighted object.
Profound, it may sound but it is not patient and kind anymore. It envies, boasts and is rude. It's selfish, easily angered and keeps record of wrongs. Ironically,it "loves to hate and suspect", no matter how loyal it may be .
The Thin Red Line i mentioned earlier is absolutely my perception of looking at events that unfold or have occured to me.My remarks are impersonal and restricted to my intellect.To agree or disagree is entirely one's personal choice.
I totally respect your perception and I hold no right to object to that. I agree when you say that Love now is more of a convenience which is diluted, concocted, twisted and tailored to one's own needs.
If you ask me what I think about it then all I can say is that it used to be a relatively pure emotion but now it has become more like a use and throw kind of an emotion.
One more request, please leave behind your name so that it become a bit easier on my part to address when I reply. Thanks
Does a person's name really matter!!
Absolutely it does, without a name everything would be the same. Whole world would be in chaos!
Sorry! but i beg to differ on this.
However, if you really find it important...My name is "Kiran".
So you believe that name is not important, that's Shakespearean thought. I don't subscribe to that thought. Name to me is something that you give to a bunch of qualities and traits. To me a person with x,y, z,.... qualities is Kiran. Had there been no name I would not be able to make out Kiran from other people.....
Love and marrige are two disparate ideas. Love is a natural emotion and marrige is a man made institution.
Your love for a woman in whatever form comes from your genes. Your commitment towards her comes from either your fear of norms or your respect/fear/love of her emotions.
Well, i am very poor in subscribing to any school of thought.Shakespeare and others(i don't even know/ remember their names)
are alien to me.
Yes, a person's name is very important for "Distinction" from other people but being anonymous to someone does not mean
that he/ she lacks qualities. No, i find it bookish.
Many people cross your life everyday.Some of them may be very important, some important and some not at all important.
You categorise them accordingly and when"Mohit" maintains a weblog, does he actually remember/mention the names of
persons who are Not so Important to him.People tht do not actually matter to you just erase from your memory.So today,
when i am one of those not so important ppl, i don't think knowing my name holds any significance to anybody,
so i prefer to be anonymous. For me, my belief still holds true!!.
Kiran
That's a false allegation. I never meant that no name means that a person lacks in qualities but I said that a name embodies a particular bunch of qualities and traits that one associates to a name of a person and in no way it is meant for segregation on the basis that you have mentioned. The world is a small place and one never knows that a person whom I consider not so important today becomes very important tomorrow.
Mohit - Unfortunately i don't beleive in blame game and to be really honest, am not accusing you. I admit am being harsh &
critical but it doesn't mean that your ideas were baseless or irrelevant.Whatever you said, definitely makes sense and i must
say that you have a very good understanding and knowledge.
I have put forward my views according to my logic and reasoning which should be acceptable by any norms.My values and my rationality make me think like this. I may sound like a snob who holds herself high in opinion but it does not deter me to appreciate your views and understanding the subject.
As far as allegations are concerned, in one of my comments above, i have made it clear that " my remarks are impersonal and
restricted to my intellect.To agree or disagree is one's personal choice". Usually, it's very difficult to match rationality and intellect of two different individuals,
hence argument,criticism and misunderstanding prevails and that's what happened in our discussion but i don't mind arguing with you like this till you keep writing mind boggling
blogs.
So keep posting.
Rgds,
K
Woman, I was just trying to be funny by using the allegation part. I never dreamt that a blog of couple of lines will lead to a discussion lasting a whole day. Whatever impression you have about me as a person let me outrightly tell you that I am far from it and yeah I am not being modest. I don't want to sound reciprocative but you too have an amazing reasoning power and the way you looked at that blog was which I never thought of before.
Hope to c new stuff 4m u vry soon.
I'll try to put some stuff soon....
Will wait for that..Till then Good bye and Good Luck
Rgds,
K
Hi mohit....right ???Well i previewed my comment and saw its coming under the name "anomymous".......but im not the same anomymous-kiran"......So dont get confused.My name is noor.
Hi....to all !!! If i have to say that !!! I came across this blog & liked it too !!!
I read all ur comments.....and with due respect to all of u i wud like to say somethng .
And when i say "all of u"......this goes for "mohit" & "kiran"
The topic was abt frnds gettin married & settling down with one woman ....and then ur entire conversation proceeded.......wht i liked was the later part of the conversation !
So both of u think that the word love.....well i wudnt use it as a word.....let me rephrase it as "emotion love".In ur conversation ull have said that "love" used to be different ???? If im correct then probabaly both mohit and kiran are tentavitely of the same age......or if i have to rephrase it....of the same generation.....So wht do ull know abt love being different before ???? Is it that traditonal bookish orthodox notion that has been unconciously inculcated within ull from childhood......the so cald "unconditional" love....ull are talking abt ? But kiran and mohit......who has seen such love......HAVE U TWO EVER ??? or even in the least experienced it ????
Ull are talking abt......love......that love has "BECOME".....selfish.....moulded to suit our own needs and desires......but ur talking about something that u have only experienced as it is today......what do u know abt love 50 yrs bk ???? Maybe it was still the same......selfish & for one's own purpose.The "love" ull are talking about is the notion that has been ingrained in you.It is like the notion "Boys dont cry".....and "Girls talk a lot".
Let me ask ull......arnt u one of them.......amongst those thousands.........to be selfish ???? Wud u want to be in love with a girl/guy with whom u have no future whatsoever ??The answer is "NO".
& even if you are intially u would lose intrest in no time.
So what are we talking abt ??? An unconditional love ????What do we know about unconditional love ???? Where does that unconditional love stop ???? Or it dusnt stop?????Or is it that no matter how the other person treats u would still be in love with her ????Is that was is "UNSELFISH" love ????& how does unconditional love start in the first place ?????Well HOW DO U START LOVING A PERSON IN THE FRIST PLACE ?????Through the internet like its in vogue these days.......or by being in the same city.Ok if being in the same city.....then what happens when one of them leaves the city ???? U start giving ur unconditional love to someone else ????
If we are prepared to come out of our ingrianed notions for an hour.....and sit and think about it......we will realize that....."love" is transitional & circumstantial.Its an emotion that never dies within us humans.We can love once,twice,thrice,again and again.Yeah ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT SAME.Amongst all of the relationships we'v had.....there'll be a person....for whom we have the strongest feelings.& we name it love.BUT IS THAT WHT LOVE IS ???The strongest of all relationships ???
I dont think so."love" is love....whether strong or weak.Its an emotion "when u want to care for someone".Love is not eternity:its transition from one phase to another.
(fully agree with you about the women and their roles. I acknowledge each and every role that a woman plays. They make world a better place. In their absence, man and his carnal desires and sinister plans would have ripped this planet many times over----Mohit's msg)....well on a lighter side.....men wudnt have had any carnal desires in the 1st place if there werent any women at all !!!! LOL !!!!
(Profound, it may sound but it is not patient and kind anymore. It envies, boasts and is rude. It's selfish, easily angered and keeps record of wrongs. Ironically,it "loves to hate and suspect", no matter how loyal it may be....kiran's msg)....getting back to somethng more serious......."no matter how loyal it may be......kiran how do u make the other person believe that ur loyal to him ???? By saying "i love you"????? Or saying "im being loyal to you"????Is that what loyalty is ????? Loyalty dusnt come from saying "i love you" or "im being loyal to u"........loyalty is something.....that needs to be nurtured every time.Y do u think.....frndships of 20 yrs break......y do u think.......a relationship of 40 yrs break ???? Is it because....we arnt loyal to the other person???NO. Its because we forgot to do our job.....our job of inculcating trust,faith & LOYALTY in the other person.When a relationship starts.......it starts not because u trust the other person blindly....it starts because "the other person" inculcates trust in u about him.But its sad that we take evrything in life that we have for granted.& start thinking that the other person knows and should trust us."LOYALTY & TRUST IS LIKE A PLANT"........THE DAY U STOP INCULCATING IT IN THE OTHER PERSON......THE DAY U STOP NURTURING IT.....THE OTHER PERSON WILL LOSE IT."THE DAY U STOP WATERING THE PLANT IT'LL START WITHERING".
(The Thin Red Line you are talking about, no I don't really understand because I don't understand the very concept of Love. I really don't understand it. When I see within myself and around I find that 'Love' is the most misused word,'I love you' the most misused sentence and Love as an emotion is the most abused of all-----mohit's msg)........U say "love" is the most mis-used word & "I love you" the most misused sentence.......I AGREE WITH YOU!!!But can i stop to ask u......are we not one of them to
abuse the word "love".....to abuse the sentence "I love you".......and ofcourse abuse the emotion "love"......how many times have we said "I love you" & never meant it ???????
Here we are talking abt mis-uses of the so cald pristine emotions.But its sad to see......that ppl do nothng abt it.Agreed that these terms and
emotions are being mis-used......but what are we doing abt it ???? JUST NOTHING.Have we as humans contirbuted even an ounce of stopping the mis-use of such emotions ???No we havent.How will we when we ourselves are the culprits.We ourselves love the other person to suit our needs and purpose.WE ourselves say "i love you"....and never mean those words.& we'r talking about love becoming selfish ???? Rnt we the same ppl who make "love" selfish ??????????
Im sorry kiran & mohit.....if iv been too critical about ur comments......I respect both of ur thots.....and its always nice to know what other
ppl think.....& once again im sorry.....if u found my comments too rude.
The thing is that......it breaks my heart to see that we know that emotions like love,turst,loyalty are being abused.......and we ourselves are the one who abuse it.......and its sad that we keep complaining about it.......BUT DO NOTHING AND HAVE DONE NOTHING TO CHANGE THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.
I wrote this.....beacuse....u will see....that there are a lot of things that i dont know....and that is about love.......and im trying to find out.......my answers......if there's something all ccould let me know....a different point of view....please do that......ill be more than happy.
Noor.
Dear Noor, before I reply back to your comment, I have two things to say:-
Firstly, thanks a lot for stopping by my page and dropping your comment which I had to read and re-read, I found it pretty profound.
Secondly, I must apologize for replying back pretty late for obvious reasons that I had to go through your comment over and over again and before I could reply I had to think and rethink.
I know when I talk about the love in the bygone era it comes across as a utopian concept which we read in books and movies of that era. It is not all that alien; I have experienced a fraction of that kind of love as a kid in my family. The kind of sacrifices that my family (ours was a joint family) made is unthinkable of today.
The life in the past was relatively simple, the thinking was simple. The people were simple back then and there was no room for extravagance for want of money. And I am sure that you'll agree with me when I say that the emotions that a person exhibits are influenced by his living. That's why I say that emotions back then were unadulterated and there was slightly more purity what it is today. I was not around back then but one need not see or experience everything that exists in this world.
When I say that Love as an emotion is the most abused, it simply means that we use it day in and day out without knowing the meaning of it. We use it as per our convenience and when I say 'we', it means me included. I am still grappling to understand what love is all about. I haven't been able to figure it out and I am not too hopeful that I'll all my life.
To be very honest and frank with you, I have a totally a different take on love as an emotion which I feel would be inappropriate to discuss out here.
~Mohit
Dear mohit,
I would like to start by saying that I hope u agree that “something that maybe right from my viewpoint maybe wrong from somebody else’s viewpoint”.But both are correct if seen from different angles.
“ EVERY ACT OF HATERED IS THE SIGN OF REPRESSION SOMEWHERE”…….I would like to explain this….
I might be unhappy but I might not express it to other people…….but that doesn’t mean im happy….. and that unhappiness might come out as hate some where else.
( It is not all that alien; I have experienced a fraction of that kind of love as a kid in my family. The kind of sacrifices that my family (ours was a joint family) made is unthinkable of today.-----------mohit’s msg)….
U mentioned about sacrifices that people made in earlier days………people make sacrifices in todays world too……we just need an eye to see it.
A college student of today would be a parent tomorrow…….would have a family tomorrow…….he would make all the “sacrifices” that our parents’ made for us…….BUT here I would like to stop.I would not want to use the word “SACRIFICE”.
Are we trying to equate sacrifice and love ?? Sacrifice and love are not same.Let us rethink what both word might mean.Sacrifice is when u give something to someone else but regret giving it up(maybe we keep the regret within ourself).Love is when you give something to the other person but do not regret having given it up.
The sacrifice that we are talking about by our parents is not sacrifice……its their love for us……its love for their kids as parents.
Now getting back to the point………earlier ppl made sacrifices.But were they happy making those sacrifices ??????????? If they were happy making those sacrifices…….then why would those umpteen number of joint families break ?????Why do we have majority of nuclear family these days???? The families broke because they were not happy making those so cald “sacrifies” that they had to make under whatever circumstances.
SACRIFICE IS NOT SYNONYM TO LOVE . A sacrifice is just a sacrifice . & it is this sacrifice that breeds hatred . If I sacrifice something for the other person and the other person doesn’t acknowledge it…….somewhere within me…..it’ll breed unhappiness.Some people show it while some others repress it. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist .
We need to understand ourselves as “HUMANS”. A human being is truly happy when he/she wants to do something for the other person without being under a duty to do it.We are happy when we do something for the other person without being forced by circumstances to do it.
Sacrifices don’t make people happy…….they only breed contempt. & that is the single most reason that we hardly have joint families these days.And even if we do have joint families there’s always a tiff going on between the elder brother and the younger brother about property(well im not being filmy……it is true no matter even if we want to ignore it).Sacrifice is what has made people separate.People want to stay separate because they are happier as humans when they don’t have to “sacrifice”.
When we talk about our parents’ generation(or when we were kids)……we see that generation as more harmonious. But im sure you have heard about the phrase “The CALM before the STORM”. What we saw in our parents generation was the calm.What we see in our generation is the storm.What im trying to say here is that there’s a relation between the Calm and the storm.It’s the “Calm” that has resulted in the “Storm”.In the same way…..the so called “harmony”(sacrifices) in our parents generation is what has resulted in this so cald “disharmony” in our generation.We as humans by nature are not happy making sacrifices.
( It is not all that alien; I have experienced a fraction of that kind of love as a kid in my family. The kind of sacrifices that my family (ours was a joint family) made is unthinkable of today.-------mohit’s msg).I hope that you would agree with me when I say this.When we were kids we harldy could make out or hardly could understand the tough times that our parents would be going through.But as we mature we do start understanding them.What we thought as absolute harmony(obviously our parents were good at masking their troubles) was not so rosy afterall.
( I was not around back then but one need not see or experience everything that exists in this world.-----------mohit’s msg)…….I would like to differ.I think that one does need to see or experience or feel things that exist in this world.Because till then everything is an “illusion”.Its like a “soul”…….we might think that it exists but till we really experience(I don’t know how) its an “illussion”…….till then its just “our belief”……till then its just “our thinking or imagination”…….that we would like to make ourselves believe……..and with those beliefs we live life.
(I am still grappling to understand what love is all about. I haven't been able to figure it out and I am not too hopeful that I'll all my life.-------mohit’s msg)………U have yourself given an example of how we need to experience something to believe in it……..till then “everything’s an illusion .We need to understand that there are certain things that defy definition like “life,love,death and a lot many more things.
Noor.
Hi mohit....i have written some more things in your other bolgs....do see them.
Noor.
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