Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Pipeline Story

The views presented below are totally mine and it may not be shared by the others and I carry no intention to hurt anybody's sentiments. This has been written in close association with pals like Harsh Nema and Avinash Kamath who were kind enough to bear a person like me during my stay in Pune.

Once upon a time in the far off jungles of a Software Park, there lived a fine and majestic Tiger with his beautiful Tigress. They were deeply in love and lived in a den which they fondly called the "Cubicle".

One fine morning, the couple were in a romantic mood and the things were getting started for the Tiger and all of a sudden a Dog appeared from nowhere and started barking outside their "Cubicle" . The Dog hurled choicest of the abuses at the Tiger. 'Hey you @#&%$# of a Tiger’, he thundered. “What are you doing in the cave? Come out and be a man errr...be a Tiger, you pussy cat.” The Dog went on and on, barking and abusing the Tiger and challenging his supreme authority.

The Tiger, though irritated by the incident, put the whole thing behind him and tried to get his, hmmm..., act together and concentrated hard on his lovely Tigress. She was taken aback at her husband's cold response and how he tried to underplay the whole incident. Visibly shaken, she turned to her husband and said, "Honey, why don't you just go out and kick that little ba#$%@ arse". The Tiger gave her a patient hearing and asked her to forget the whole thing and rather concentrate on the amorous game.

The next day the Dog returned and started from where he had left the previous day. This totally frustrated the Tigress and she thundered, "You dumbass of a pussycat. You are the king of the jungle and cannot control a stupid,barking hound? You are good for nothing" The Tiger at first tried to pacify the Tigress but she did not relent, losing his cool, he finally growled and said,"You slut of a Tigress, just keep your mouth shut and do what you are told. Don't even get me started on the Dog."

The Dog did not relent and went on and on with his mud-slinging activity. The Tigress could take it no more, she cursed her husband and took after the Dog to teach him a lesson. Seeing the Tigress in hot pursuit, the Dog ran for his life and straightaway headed into the jungle with the Tigress right behind his heels. The territory was completely unfamiliar to the Tigress. The Dog ran until he came across a construction area where the pipelines were being laid. The Dog ran into the pipe owing to his small size and the Tigress without thinking twice followed him. But alas!the Tigress got stuck pipe in the entrance of the pipe, the pipe was too small to accommodate a Tigress. She was half inside and half outside, stuck in the opening of the pipe, totally helpless. The Dog on the other hand wriggled out of the pipe and approached the Tigress from behind. With such a tight and beautiful opportunity available, the Dog merrily banged his way to eternal bliss.

This went on for days till the Tigress went weak and was finally able to wriggle out of the pipeline. Worn and torn by this painful ordeal, the Tigress returned back to her "Cubicle". Seeing Tigress in such a pathetic condition, the Tiger chuckled. It was a totally uncalled for reaction on part of her husband and she least exoected it at that time. The Tigress was amused and asked the Tiger why was he smiling at her. He said, " You slut...Now that you have finally returned...I warned you in the very beginning not to pay heed to the barking Dog and to mind your own business. But you did not listen and ran behind the Dog without thinking twice....So how does it feel to be banged and screwed by a Dog???? He has done this to me many times in the past and this has made me bit wiser. I don't want to get into any pipeline any more"
Moral of the Story: Don't run after a barking Dog without thinking twice and there is nothing in the pipeline, better stay away from it.

Lesson for people like me in IT Sector
There are lot many jungles (read Software Companies and IT Parks) which are full of pipelines(There are "ALWAYS" projects in the pipeline .....)

Once upon a time I too lived peacefully in a beautiful jungle in Pune with my friends. Alas!! There was no female for company. I was at peace with myself, though there were some intermittent phases of discontent but that’s all right. I believe that we all face these intermittent phases of discontent and frustration. Then one fine day an IT- HR guy came and dangled an offer in front of me which I could not resist.He then lured me into an unknown territory of the jungle. People told me not to follow him but I did not listen. I ran after him and he showed me the pipeline and the projects in it. I was forced into the pipeline and like the Tiger I got stuck at the entrance. Before I realised, it was too late. The rest of the story you know....I'm still undergoing the painful ordeal!!!!!!!!